Statistic Read online

  Statistic

  Copyright 2014 Dawn Robertson

  First Edition

  All rights reserved as permitted under the U.S. Copyright Act of 1976. No part of these publications may be reproduced, distributed, transmitted in any form or by any means, or stored in a database or retrieval system, without the prior permission of the Author. For information regarding subsidiary rights, please contact the publisher.

  This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is coincidental.

  Cover and Formatting by ShoutLines Design

  TABLE OF CONTENTS

  Copyright

  Dedication

  Prologue

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Chapter 15

  Chapter 16

  Chapter 17

  Epilogue

  A Letter from the Author

  Preview of Domme for Hire

  About Dawn

  Books by Dawn

  DEDICATION

  Statistic is dedicated to #TeamPonyPanties, the Dawn’s Dolls and all of my fans who have supported me through my insane journey.

  Stefanie, and Carrie my amazing PA’s who tolerate my busy schedule, and flaky moments. Everyone I have met during 2014 at book signings. YOU guys keep me going!

  My family, and friends who continue to be my support system. Especially M.

  Each Day is a Blessing.

  XOXO

  What makes a person tick? Is it the way they are raised? Perhaps it’s a genetic predisposition. Our DNA coded from the moment of conception to dictate the entire way our life will play out? Of course some things will be left to chance; fate better yet. I can tell you from personal experience, some people are just born bad.

  I always did my best, despite having the genetic odds stacked against me. Saying I didn't win the parental lottery would have been one of the understatements of the century. Yet, I was always able to skate by in life, trying not to become a statistic. Little did I know other people would take my choices away from me.

  I guess most of my problems started when I got married. I was such a naïve twenty year old. I thought the world was all sunshine and roses. He was my world, my reason for living. That was until he lost interest in me. A high-risk pregnancy, bed rest, sex restrictions, and a colicky baby will kill intimacy for anyone. Breastfeeding isn't sexy. Neither are the stretch marks Liam left behind. I didn't care and I still don't, but he did and that is why I caught him in bed with my eighteen year old babysitter when my son was barely three.

  I know, my life is starting to sound like a soap opera. I wish those were the darkest days. Back then, I thought they were. I thought going through a divorce with a four year old son was the end of the world. Ha. I wish I would have known what my future would hold. What damage could be done at the hands of a stranger I thought I knew.

  Does anyone truly ever know another person? My answer to that question would be no. Even the most open and honest people have dark secrets, shit they would never reveal to anyone. You know you have those types of secrets, we all do. Hell, I do. I typically would never tell anyone. Except since the world knows most of them now, it is my turn to tell my own story.

  The true story of Aurora Alexander. The real dangers of picking up strange men on the internet under the guise of dating and new beginnings. It all began as a game; a way to spread my wings and learn the dating game after being out of it for a decade. It ended in a violent attempt on my life.

  I am a fighter. I have lived to tell my story. No one can silence me. Not even him.

  Even though I’m pretty sure this is a horrible idea, I have gone through with it. My dating profile on Fish in the Sea is finalized. The photographs are approved and the messages are already starting to roll in. I’m unsure if it’s good or bad, but it’s certainly the first step to putting myself out there again. As much as I wanted to hit it off with some of the men my girlfriends have set me up with, they are all the kind of guys that they think I should be with. Not the kind of men I genuinely would want to hit it off with. Dating disaster really should just become my middle name. Or even my user name for this stupid site.

  I pull my strawberry blonde hair up into a messy knot on the top of my head, grab my glasses, and pour myself a glass of white wine. I should be out cutting up the town at a bar, but instead, I am home on a Saturday night in yoga pants and a paint spattered t-shirt watching True Blood re-runs and finally opening the sixteen messages my dating profile has pulled in this week. Pretty impressive for a single mom. I figured once guys read about my baggage in the form of a four year old they would run.

  If anything, it has increased the number of messages I’ve received. Since when do guys love kids? I always thought it was just the opposite. I let out a yawn and instantly I realized the whole reason I am not out at a bar while my little guy is spending the weekend with his father is because I can't hang past ten o'clock no matter how hard I try. Parenthood has officially ruined my nightlife.

  I open the first message and chuckle to myself.

  Dear StrawberryMom,

  When I saw your beautiful face I had to message you. You strike me as a caring woman, especially being a mother. I would love to see if it’s true what they say about moms in bed.

  -Ken

  Fail number one. And what the hell do they say about moms in bed? Apparently there is some pervy new rumor. And now I’m already second guessing this site. Delete.

  Next message.

  Hi, my name is Brandon. Hit me up, I might surprise you.

  Surprise me with what? Living in your mother's basement or with a new species growing in that disgusting beard you have going on? What is with these guys? When did the grunge look make such a comeback? They should have let it die when Kurt Cobain did.

  Next!

  Hi StrawberryMom.

  I hate using these user names on here, so would you be willing to talk more and tell me your real name? I'm Brent, 32 years old and I live in West Monroe, a couple towns over from Sharonville. I'm a recently divorced Dad of a little boy who is almost 5. I own a small construction company and would love to take you out sometime if you are interested. I look forward to hearing from you.

  -Brent

  Holy moley, a decent message and he isn't bad looking to boot. I typically don't go for blonds, but I just might be able to make an exception for him. His picture is downright adorable. He is holding a little boy whom I can only assume is his son, like a prized possession. He is smiling from ear-to-ear. His sunkissed skin glistens in the bright sunlight and totally brings out his bright blue eyes. Hot damn.

  I click through a couple more of his pictures, they clearly show a lot about his personality and who he really is. He is definitely in shape because you can see every muscle in his upper body in the picture of him without his shirt. Is it getting hot in here?

  I read his ‘about me’ section, hobbies and every last detail before replying to his message. I kind of feel like I’m about to hire him for a job or join the FBI, but you can't be too careful. I don't want to send the wrong kind of message to a weirdo. That’s for sure. I sit here and stare at my screen for ten minutes just thinking of my reply.

  Hi Brent

  I am new to this site, and this is my first reply to anyone, so bare with me. My name is Aurora and I am 28, recently divorced and a
mother which you obviously already knew from my profile and user name. Ha! I live and work in Sharonville, but I am out and about all over the county. I love taking pictures out by the animal preserve, as well as the lake. I own my own small marketing business. God, I am so bad at this and I can only hope you are laughing like I am right now. Anyway, I would totally be up for chatting some more on here, so inbox me back anytime.

  -Aurora

  Yup, I probably sound like a giant asshole. I’m so used to passing notes back and forth in math class saying “do you like me” and crap. I wonder if he will notice I haven't dated since high school? Shit!

  I continue through the rest of the messages, some are downright creepy, and some are absolutely hysterical.

  StrawberryMom do the curtains match the drapes?

  Hey sexy, DTF?

  What does that even mean? God I am old! After a quick Google search, I am also disgusted. One last message and I am going to be giving up for the night and finishing up my Sookie Stackhouse marathon and praying I dream of Vampire Bill.

  Wow, you are beautiful. I am sure you get messages like that all the time on this shitty site, but I truly mean it. My name is Jeremy, I am a 30 year old business man from up in Lake City. Not too far from you. I wish I could move someplace more rural like Sharonville. Anyways, I may not be divorced or a parent myself, but none of that bothers me at all. I'm a grown man and I understand we all have different paths that we have walked in life. Everyone has a past right? I would like to talk more if you are up for it.

  -Jeremy

  Not half bad. My fingers almost start replying before I catch myself, second guessing my actions before my mind has a chance to catch up with my hands. Would replying to more than one message send me straight into the internet slut category? I mean, what is the worst that could happen? I am not planning on being in a relationship with more than one person at a time. Hell, I am not sure I am even ready for one relationship.

  One of my worst traits has to be my overthinking shit. Seriously. I am not one of those people able to live in the moment. I have to overthink everything six ways to Sunday. I have to calculate what kind of a reaction my actions could bring. Negative, positive, whatever.

  Maybe it’s time I really throw caution to the wind and live a little bit? Maybe just a little. Maybe just this time. I can make friends first, and see where things go. Right? What’s the worst that could really happen from replying to more than one message. Gosh, it would be so much easier if all these guys were total d-bags.

  Here goes nothing. And I hope it doesn't bite me in the ass.

  Jeremy,

  Thank you for your refreshing message. Today on this site I learned the lovely term DTF, so of course after reading this I have my faith in humanity renewed ever so slightly. How do you like Lake City? I used to love spending a long weekend up there. That darling little Bed and Breakfast on the Lake is gorgeous. Even if it’s the outskirts of town. I would love to chat more, see what you are all about.

  -Aurora

  On that note, I’m done for the night. I’ve replied to two messages successfully and deleted another dozen without a second thought. I can only wonder if those pickup lines actually work for guys these days. If they do, those girls really need to evaluate their self respect big time.

  I let out a yawn and stretch my legs out accidentally kicking something that had taken up residency at the end of my bed.

  “Damn it Pesky! You can't scare me like that!” Ok, so I am overly jumpy living alone these days. Especially when Liam is gone for the weekend. Like my pint sized four year old could actually protect me from anything. What a joke. But it still is nice to have another person in the house none the less. The resident neighborhood stray had taken up the annoying habit of coming in at night whenever I left a window open.

  I don't know about you, but first thing in the morning I lie in bed and scroll through my cell phone. Facebook, Google +, Twitter, email. Those all come first even before brushing my teeth. I have always been like that and maybe that’s why I am such a social media guru. It’s both a blessing and a curse.

  Normally, I wouldn't have even bothered to check my inbox on the dating website, but I guess after putting myself out there last night, I was just a little curious. I tap the app and open it up, scrolling through a couple new messages, but only coming to a stop when I see Brent's picture. He actually replied. That is a good thing, right?

  Aurora,

  A business owner huh? Impressive, love. I am glad you decided to reply to me. I sent that message a week ago, I had almost lost all hope that you would actually reply. I know it may seem a little sudden or abrupt but would you like to go out to dinner one night this week? It is okay if you aren't up for it. I will totally understand. I will have to find a sitter for my son since I have him full time, but I will make it work somehow.

  -Brent

  Out of the entire message, it isn't the date invite that strikes me. It is the fact that he is a single father whom has his son full time. Not something you hear often. I am completely intrigued but not enough to meet him. I need the safety net the anonymous internet provides just a little bit longer.

  Brent,

  I appreciate your offer, but I am still so new to this and don't think I would be up for meeting just yet. I hope you can understand. I would love to learn more about you. Maybe chat on here some more and get to know each other to the point that I am more comfortable. I hope that doesn't come off as sounding high maintenance, because that is one thing I am not. Ha!

  Also, it's not everyday that you see a man who has custody of their child. I would love to maybe break the ice by starting there?

  -Aurora

  Almost instantly after I pressed send on the message, my message alert pinged again with a reply from him. Wouldn't it be strange if he was laying in bed right now doing the same exact thing as me? This whole internet world is actually really creepy sometimes. It is a good thought and a bad thought all wrapped into one.

  Aurora,

  I respect that. It isn't typical on these sites, but then again most people on here are just looking for a cheap hookup which isn't my thing. I don't typically talk about Max, but I feel oddly comfortable talking with you about our situation.

  I've been a single father since Max was born. My wife died during childbirth with him. It was horrible

  and tragic, but it is something I have come to terms with over the years. I have had a lot of time to

  think about everything that happened and I am finally starting to come to terms with it all. It was

  meant to be, no matter how much it killed me at the time.

  I've probably said way too much already, but I hope you won't hold it against me.

  Do you mind me asking your story?

  -Brent

  Whoa. Well, this just took a completely unexpected turn. My heart breaks for this poor guy. I can't imagine bringing a baby home from the hospital only to plan a funeral. Tears start pooling in my eyes and I have to take a minute and compose myself. I swing my legs off the side of my bed and make my way to the bathroom as the thoughts of leaving Liam behind flood my mind. Being a new parent was hard enough on me, how could I have ever done it alone? Colin would have never survived if something like that happened to me.

  I pick my phone back up a few moments later and try to think about the most tactful reply I can say without bawling like a baby. Thank god he can't see me through these messages because he would probably think I am a nut case for being such a blubbering mess. I just always have worn my heart on my sleeve. I am just an emotional person.

  Brent,

  I am so sorry for your loss. I am sure you have heard so many people say that. But, I truly mean it. I

  cannot even imagine how hard that must have been on you. I am also really sorry for bringing that

  up. I am sure it is not a good memory for you. Not something you really want to lead off with huh?

  Me, huh? Well, I married my high school sweetheart. I guess I w
as naïve for a long time. It wasn't until

  I was put on bedrest when I was pregnant with my son Liam that my ex's true colors really came

  out. He blamed me for not being able to be “intimate” with him, and started cheating on me. It only

  spiraled out of control from there. I tried to fix our broken relationship for the better part of two

  years after that. But, sadly I came to realize it wasn't me with the problem. No matter what I tried,

  Colin had a problem with staying faithful and that is a deal breaker for me.

  So, I filed for divorce and he pitched a fit and has been fighting with me ever since. Now, he just uses

  Liam as ammunition when he decides he has enough time to actually visit with his own child.

  I have also said way too much. Ha! I guess we are both in that boat today huh?

  Maybe it is the comfort factor.

  -Aurora

  Well, maybe I will just go take a shower. I have already spilled way too much of my personal life to a guy. Something I told myself I wasn't going to do with any of the guys from this damn website. I can't even keep a promise to myself. Ha!