His (Hers Book 6) Page 15

  I like to think of myself as a reasonable man. I put out what I want to get back in the world. I haven’t gotten everything I consider mine by rolling over and taking one for the team. Especially when it came to catching my stubborn ass wife and keeping her all this time. I am a smart man who knows which battles to pick and which to let go. The reality of it all is, my brother doesn’t know anything about me and he never will. He was never interested long enough to build a relationship then or now.

  My phone buzzes in my pocket, under Lyric’s head and I ignore it. I don’t want to bother her now that she is finally able to rest. I’m sure the entire ordeal has been exhausting. I know I am more than ready to get home and leave this shit behind us.

  Chrome emerges from the stairs quickly making his way for the truck with no one in his wake. I don’t know if I want to know what happened back there, but the nagging fact that my brother was a large part of this almost makes me need to ask.

  “Don’t ask.” Chrome says while he gets into the truck. “Just know that neither will bother you or Seven again. I just can’t tell you any more than that.” He offers without any further discussion of the topic.

  “Ryker and Judge?” I ask.

  “They will meet us back in Woodstock sometime tonight. I’m gonna hit the road to head home if that is cool with you?” I just nod as we make our way back in the direction of the highway.

  Levi

  Present

  Somewhere on the drive back to Woodstoc,k my phone finally stops vibrating. My only assumption is the battery died. Chrome’s phone flashes occasionally, but remains on silent, as does the rest of the truck for the drive back. I don’t want to poke a bear because he is in some kind of mood. His hands white knuckle the steering wheel and I catch him speeding over and over again.

  He lets out a deep breath as we finally reach our exit from the highway.

  “You gonna let it out before you explode on Star, dude?” I laugh, and try to break the nasty silence that is filling the air.

  “I hate letting people go.” He says without thinking about his answer any further. I can tell he didn’t want to let that out, but he had to.

  “You let them go? Why?” I ask. I’m unsure if I really want to know why he did what he did, but I am silently grateful my brother, no matter how fucked up or distant he is, didn’t end up somewhere in the Falls.

  “You remember that old Kenny Rogers song, the Gambler?” Chrome asks and I answer.

  “Yeah?”

  “Sometimes you gotta know when to fold ‘em and walk away.” I never took Chrome for much of a deep thinker, but whatever he had going on within his head was far deeper than he would ever want to share with me. So, I just leave it.

  “Your house or mine?” I ask as we try and figure out where the crew would be camped out.

  “I’m willing to bet everyone is held up at your house, babies and all.” Chrome replies as the truck turns in the direction of my house. I am relieved I will finally be home with my wife and girls. It isn’t like we have been gone long, but any time away from them seems like an eternity.

  “You know, Star really loves that y’all named your daughter Willow. She’ll never tell you, but it’s probably the most touching thing anyone’s done for her.”

  I shrug.

  “It’s all Seven’s doing. I wanted to name her London since because that is where I finally got Seven to start fuckin’ chasing me. It holds some special meaning for us, but I think Willow fits perfectly. I’m glad it could help Star get some closure, not that having Magnolia back doesn’t help.” I think about being away from either of my daughters for that long and it is like a knife to the heart. They are my world.

  The truck finally comes to a stop, and Lyric stirs.

  “Where are we?” She quietly asks with a sleepy voice.

  “My house. Seven should be here waiting for us all. I’ll get a doctor up here first thing in the morning to check you out and make sure you are okay. Nothing more than some bumps and bruises, right?” I ask.

  “I think I may have a broken rib, but that’s it. They didn’t rough me up too bad. But that bitch kicked me in the ribs pretty fuckin’ hard.” I want to laugh at how much she is like Seven in so many ways. But damn, it would be really inappropriate to laugh right now.

  “We’ll make sure we get you all checked out.” I reassure her.

  Just as we kill the lights of the truck, Paisley and Diesel come barreling out of the front door of my house. Why the hell are they here? Why are they running?

  “What the hell?” Paisley screams at us.

  “What?” Chrome and I say in unison.

  “Why don’t you fuckers answer your phones?!” she screams again. What the hell?

  “Calm down, Paisley.” Diesel says from behind her as he wraps his arms around her and pulls her petite body close to his. “There was an accident. Seven and Star are at the hospital and it doesn’t look too good.”

  Like that, my entire world comes to an end.

  The beeps and sounds of the hospital are noises I never wanted to hear again. I never thought I would hear again. Now, I am sitting here with burning eyes as my wife fights for her life in a hospital bed. I continue to tell myself Seven is a fighter, trying to reassure myself that everything is going to be okay when I know deep down… it isn’t.

  The doctors and nurses speak in whispers around me, like I am some kind of spectator on the sidelines. Like a child who doesn’t understand the weight of what is happening. What has happened. What Vince did to my wife.

  Seven is a fighter whose fight has been taken away from her. Her body isn’t responding to any of the treatment and while we all hold vigil at her bedside, I pray that whatever happens is for the better because there is no way on this Earth that I can live day-in and day-out without Seven by my side.

  “Why are you giving up?” I ask her, whispering into her ear as I cry dry tears. I couldn’t squeeze out another actual tear if I tried. They dried hours ago.

  “I swear Seven… if you leave me behind to raise your daughters, you will never forgive yourself. Fight me. Fight me for them. You don’t want me to fuck their lives up. I need you to be here and teach them how to be strong independent women. I need you to raise them to be fucking badasses like you. I need you. Fuck! Stop! Just come back to me!”

  A hand gently touches mine, Star nods at me and encourages me to get up and leave for a little bit. Take a walk and clear my head. Nothing is going to wake Seven up right now and there is no use beating myself up over all of it. I don’t want to leave her, but I know if I don’t get out of this chair soon, Chrome will probably physically remove me from the hospital altogether.

  “I love you, Seven.” I say before I turn and make my way for the hallway of the ICU. And take a break to get my own shit together. For Seven and everyone around us.

  “I did it, Seven. I killed him. I shot him. I’ve lived with this secret for far too long. Going behind your back. Lying to you as I smiled and shared all these family holidays with you. I know one day when you wake up, you will never forgive me and that is okay. I can live with that because it is what I deserve.” Star’s voice quietly speaks through the hospital door. I can hear the sniffles as she cries, but I give her the time she needs with Seven. Clearly, she chased me out of the room for more than just some time to myself.

  “He was a monster and he would have never let me go that day. I am not sorry for what I did, because I wouldn’t have Magnolia or Rainbow if I didn’t do what I did. Given the situation, you would have done the same. But he is your brother, your flesh and blood, and that will never change. Our bond of sisterhood has never been blood even though there were times I wanted it to be. I’m a shitty friend and I know I shouldn’t be unloading this all on you right now. But if something happens to you, I need you to know all of this. There are so many things I needed to say over the years that I just kept to myself.” The beeps and machines echo through the room, and I just stand there and process the weight of it all.
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  I don’t blame Star at all and I never will. I am sure Seven wouldn’t either. My god, I wish she was awake, I wish she could listen to this. I just wish she would come back to me. But maybe this time… is really it.

  Present

  Ryker

  Everyone runs to the hospital and leaves Lyric alone. The poor girl is traumatized and no one gives a fuck. No one except for me and I am still pretty confused as to why I care. It’s not like she means anything to me. She is a stranger. She was a mission, an order from my boss. Nothing more.

  The more I tell myself that, the more I hope I can convince myself it is true. But it’s not and I have no idea where along the way my lines got crossed. Internally, I argue with myself, but the desire to protect this girl grows by the second. They all left her and that creates this rage within me. One minute the world revolves around saving her, and the next minute she is chucked to the side for Princess Seven.

  Fuckin’ Seven. I just don’t get it. I don’t see what all the rage is about. Call me a dick, but she’s a bitch. That doesn’t do it for me and it shouldn’t do it for most of the guys we run with. Now, I am inside her house babysitting her little sister while she lays in a hospital bed with the world by her side. I’m willing to bet she has no one to blame but herself for whatever the fuck happened this time. Just like every time before.

  A scream carries through the first floor of Seven and Levi’s house, coming from the guest bedroom Lyric has been held up in for the past two days. Another nightmare for sure. Every time this poor girl sleeps, she wakes up in a panic. I move in the direction of the screams. They get louder with every step I make. Her words cut me like a knife and I don’t want to care. I want to be numb like the rest of the world. I want to be cold and callous. I want to go on with my life and leave this girl to deal with her own shit. This isn’t my problem. I don’t need more fucked up women creating unnecessary drama in my life.

  Pushing the door open, I can see her curled up into a ball in the middle of the giant bed. I’ve tried everything to talk her down when she gets like this, but still, nothing works. Her body looks tiny and her screams turn into hushed cries. The sniffles and tears fill the room and I just stand there and watch. I am probably the most useful fuck on Earth. I just don’t know how the fuck to process this all. I don’t do emotional women. I don’t do broken. I can’t.

  I take a few steps in the direction of the bed, and realize Lyric is awake. She isn’t dreaming anymore. Her blue eyes glance up at me and all the shit I’ve been talking in my head begins to melt away. I’m a sucker for this girl.

  Everything about her mirrors Seven, except her eyes. Those eyes. She doesn’t even need to say a word, just look at me and I am done for. I’m such a pussy and I can’t handle it. She frowns when she sees the pained look on my face.

  “Are you okay?” She asks me. She is quiet and broken yet she asks me about my own well being. What kind of person who has been through the bullshit she has would even care about another human or what they were feeling? Who was this girl and why was she thrown at me like this?

  “I’m good, you?” I don’t want to know how she is. I already know the answer is going to be bad. But she doesn’t let on to her hurt.

  “I’m okay, I guess.” But she’s not okay and we all know it. Maybe not we, maybe just me.

  “You’re not, Lyric.” I counter. My mouth speaks before my brain has the opportunity to catch up. “Why don’t you let it all out? Lean on me…” I say. Fuck, I am opening Pandora’s box.

  “I’m good, I promise. I just…” she lays back down in the bed and pulls the covers up. “Would you lay with me?” She asks me with an embarrassed look. “It’s okay if you say no. Sometimes, I sleep better with someone here with me…” she quickly makes excuses for her request.

  The thought of someone else lying in this bed with her sends my mind into a tailspin. I don’t want anyone else near her. I don’t want to think about another person touching her. I want to stake my claim to her and I don’t even know her. But this feeling she has sparked inside of me is something completely foreign and I want to grab onto it and never let go.

  “If that will make you feel better, of course I will, Lyric.” I sit on the edge of the bed and unlace my boots. They each fall to the ground with a loud thud, one after the other and then I lie next to her. A notable space lingers between our bodies. I don’t want to touch her. I can’t touch her. No good would come of that.

  I think about the whore Judge and I fucked and it strengthens my resolve. There is no way I could be the kind of man a woman like this deserves. We are too different, and we come from different worlds. I would turn her world upside down and leave her in worse shape than she is right now. And there is no way I would be able to live with myself in the wake of that.

  Fuck Chrome for leaving me in this position. Fuck Levi and his wife for pulling me into all of this shit. If it wasn’t for them, I wouldn’t be in bed with this innocent girl who needs me like no one ever has before.

  “Thank you.” She whispers as her body nears mine. Crossing the invisible line I drew down the middle to keep our distance. “I thought I could get through this alone. But, Ryker… thank you for being here for me.” She says. Her voice is so fucking beautiful, sweet, and innocent, and so broken all at the same time.

  “Anything you need, Darlin’. Anything you need.” I whisper to her as I pull her back close to my body and wrap my tattooed arms around her pale white skin. The contrast is astonishing and I am caught in the beauty of our differences. Her finger begins to trail the tattoos on my hands and up my arms, without turning around.

  “Tell me about these…” her voice trails off while her finger continues to run along my skin. The sea of ink tells a story. Lots of stories; some good and some downright disgusting. Shit I am not proud of when I look at someone like her. Someone I could never have or keep. FUCK! Why do I keep thinking about this shit? She is driving me right off the deep end!

  “They are just tattoos.” I lie and instantly feel bad about.

  “Just tattoos…” She says and I can tell she doesn’t believe me.

  “Thank you Ryker. For saving me. For caring…” Lyric says. She is quiet and eventually her breathing evens out and she falls asleep. I know I can get up and flee. Leave her and this idea of what I could have with her behind in this bed. But, I don't move for hours.

  And when the sun starts to come up, I take my boots and hit the road because the longer I prolong leaving, the worse it is going to be for both of us in the long run.

  Seven

  Present

  My body aches and Mumford and Sons plays in my ears. I can’t open my eyes, but I can hear everything going on around me. Shit beeps and this loud woosh keeps annoying the fuck out of me. Someone is by my side, speaking to me or maybe it is about me? I don’t know the voice though and I want to give them a smart ass remark but I can’t speak. Something is in my mouth, and my throat fucking burns.

  “If she regains consciousness we will have to remove the tubes to see if she will be able to breathe on her own. The damage that was done when she was struck by the car caused one of her lungs to collapse. She also has some internal bleeding because going through childbirth and then that kind of trauma isn’t good for the body. There are a lot of issues for her to overcome and it isn’t going to be easy. It is going to be a long road if she ever wakes up.” This fucker. Who does he think he is? I am awake! I try and lift my left arm to grab at whatever is hurting my throat, but my hand just doesn’t work. Fuck!

  MOVE you fucker! I am screaming at my body inside my head. I go for my right arm and it doesn’t take me long to grab onto the plastic tube. Why the hell is this shoved down my throat? Get this shit out!

  “Whoa! NURSE!” The man yells as Star and Levi’s voices begin to fill the air. I can’t concentrate on everyone’s words because my goal is to get this stupid thing out of my throat. Hands wrap around my wrists and pin me to the bed. My grip on the tube is broken and that douch
ebag starts talking to me. I want to yell at him to let me go and fuckin’ get this thing out of my goddamn mouth. My body is failing me and it is driving me crazy.

  “Seven, I am Dr. Cooper. I need you to calm down for a minute until we can safely remove the intubation tube in your throat. We don’t want you to hurt yourself anymore than you are already hurt. Can you open your eyes for me?” He asks. His simple request feels like I am trying to climb a mountain. I blink my eyes rapidly and close them again. The light of the room hurts, and my head pounds.

  “Come on, Seven. Please open your eyes.” Levi says and I feel a renewed sense of hope. He is there. He is waiting for me. He didn’t back away and leave when I got myself into this mess. Another mess. Another one of my fucked up plans that only ended up backfiring in my face. I take all of the energy and strength within me to open my eyes, and when I do, and the world finally comes into focus… Levi is there, right within my view waiting for me.

  “Those beautiful brown eyes I love so much.” He says while he takes my hand that is now resting on the bed while I patiently wait for the hospital staff to tend to me. I blink back a couple tears and he starts to talk again.

  “Don’t cry my love. Don’t cry. It is all going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay.”

  “This sucks.” I say to Star as she brushes my hair. “Who would have thought that fucker would run me over. Who does that? Really? Who runs someone over with a car?” That is exactly what Vince did. Ran me the fuck over with his shitty Ford SUV. Three broken ribs, a collapsed lung, lost my damn uterus and broke a wrist. I can tell you something… if I ever see that fucker again he will have worse fate than Zane did.

  “Seven there is something I want to talk to you about.” Star’s mood goes from content to downright bleak. I want to ask her if it has anything to do with all the confessions she made to me while she thought I couldn’t hear. A lot of people did that: Star, Paisley, Chrome, Ryker, and even my own husband. No one thought I could hear them and the funny thing about being in a coma is that the doctors will insist everything you heard was an elaborate dream. But, they’re all liars. I heard every last word. I heard about how Chrome is grateful I drove Star away from Manhattan and into his arms in Woodstock. Or how Ryker is sorry for leaving Lyric the way he did. Whatever the hell that means.